MOKEN'S DEBRIEFING JOURNAL

Every night after the day’s activities on each Moken island, we have a debriefing. Peter Shankar, the Trip Co-leader with Pastor Kay, had a wonderfully creative way of debriefing us. Every session was different – the questions were the same, the emphasis and manner were not. The first debriefing session, after our trip to Koh Rao, was held, I kid you not, soaking inside a hotsprings pool in Ranong! Sharing our feelings, thoughts and experiences of our first foray into Missions, of the Mokens people, and of each other while being half-naked, half-submerged, half-boiled in a natural steaming cauldron was surreal, to say the least! The second one was held on the island of Koh Payam where we spent the night after our work on Koh Chang earlier in the day. We were told to go to our rooms with our roommates and write a personal journal in 30 mins, after which we were to share it with him or her. The third was held back in base camp in Ranong – we were to express anything or everything about the whole trip by drawing on art-block paper with colour pencils and then showing and explaining the resultant piece of art to the whole team. What a novel way of debriefing over the three days – by speaking, by writing, by drawing.

After he read the journal I wrote for the second debriefing, Elder Koon Tatt, my roomie, asked me to share it with the church. I am not quite comfortable with that as I am an extremely private person. However, I promised him I’d share it with you guys at least. So here it is, exactly as it was written, warts and all:


24/5/08 2119 hr Koh Payam

Nostalgic dreams. Painful memories. Those were what I woke up from and woke up with this morning. Was very teary throughout the morning devotions especially during Koon Tatt’s message on Jesus’ way of restoration. I had tried to restore one who betrayed me but her answer to my “Do you love me” was a resounding no. I long for restoration from another grown tired of waiting for the dust to settle, and whose sense of insecurity literally cost too much to overcome, yet I know it won’t be forthcoming. I was overwhelmingly lonely and yet felt guilty for being that way. I would later text a friend: “I’ve learnt again it is possible and painful to be lonely in a crowd, and a caring one at that, and even when in busy activity as purposeful as this mission.” God took pity on me. A dear friend sent me an sms during the devotions but which I only read after. It made me a little less lonely and I thanked her and Him for it.

The journey to the Moken island of Koh Chang was memorable in that God again proved His goodness by providing a boat with shade for the 2 hr ride in the noonday sun. And that I was allowed to take the wheel of the boat, steering it down the river into the sea. That was truly trust at work!

Work on Koh Chang was a mad rush, as we arrived later and would have to leave earlier than we would have wished due to the vagaries of the tides over which we have no control. Yet in the buzzing hives of activity, I could see and sense teamwork close to its best, not so much in the actual physical working which could have been better, but in the heart of it where everyone did his/her best in one accord to achieve as much as possible in the little time that we had. Even when we had passed our “absolute” deadline for leaving, the oft-repeated pleas from the Registration team for “One more” patient to be seen were heartwarming and heartrending.

The boat ride from Koh Chang to Koh Payam seemed like God’s way of saying to us: “Well done. Now enjoy…” Beautiful islands on an emerald green sea, gentle rocking of the boat, the cooling wind in our hair as we stood on deck in the fading glow of the setting sun. Ah, what lovely memories were evoked – of diving trips in younger days, when hearts were still unbroken…. The words of a song I learnt during my Christian Youth Fellowship days played through my mind as I stood in the wind:

“Oh how I wish I never have to leave
And all my life such beauty to receive
Now I know that God made this world
For me… and you…”

Surely, the fool says in his heart, “There is no God.”

Debriefing in hottub

Pastor Kay's debriefing artwork

CHRISTMAS UNDER THE STARS

As we, my two best friends (Shown and his wife, Kheng) and I, were driving down the road in their trusty old Trooper to Tembila in the late afternoon on Christmas day 2007, we could not help but feel elated and yet a little sad. Elated, because we were finally going to do what we had always talked about but never got down to actually doing – camp overnight on top of Bukit Dendong, one of the hills in Tembila, a beautiful stretch of beach that has it all – white coral sand, crystal clear sea, hills, freshwater river teeming with fish… Yet sad because so much has changed since we first discovered it, and much for the worse. The tall grasses and low scrubs and bushes that used to line the road and where eagles glide over are no more, replaced by tobacco fields and barren land. The solitude and serenity that kept drawing us back like bees to pollen are tarnished by ongoing development projects (resorts, water reservoir) which, when completed, will destroy those completely. So we were there to enjoy as much of Tembila as we can before it is too late. We parked, unloaded and somehow, among the three of us, managed to carry all our stuff, including deck-chairs (hey, we camp in a little style nowadays!) and firewood (there are precious few trees on top of the hill to yield naturally dead wood for our campfire) in a single trip to the foot of the hill, a half-km walk along the beach. Lugging them up the hill was another matter as that involved climbing up a short but narrow trail between trees and rocks, usually a two-handed procedure for mere mortals. But mere mortals we were not – we were Scouts! - Shown and I took only 2 trips each to carry everything up to the top. We pitched tent over the flattest piece of real estate we could find and stacked the wood in readiness for our campfire. Then we went downhill to reward and cool ourselves with a swim in the sea, followed by a refreshing dip in the river to rinse off the lingering saltiness. There must be very few places on God’s good Earth where we can enjoy the best of both worlds (sea and river) together in such a lovely setting. How extremely blessed we were to be in one of them!

Refreshed and with eager anticipation of a night of comfortable closeness and camaraderie, we climbed back up the hill. As Kheng busied herself making dinner for us, Shown and I collected whatever wood we could find to shore up the supply we had carried up from home so that we could have the warm company of fire throughout the night. As twilight fell, we started the campfire and watched as the initially tentative flames gradually took on a life of its own, basking in its light and warmth and in our own private memories. Nothing like the sight of a blazing campfire and the smell of woodsmoke to evoke nostalgic reminiscences of our scouting days. As we ate our dinner around the campfire, we noticed ominous clouds on the horizon, gathering speed and size as they were blown in by the sea breeze. Rain seemed imminent and we braced ourselves for the inevitable. As I felt a few drops of rain, I quickly whispered a prayer to God to stay the monsoon for just another day. In His wonderful grace, not only were those the last raindrops to fall on me, but He also blessed us with one of the most beautiful moonlit night I have ever experienced. So full and bright was the moon that it cast shadows making our torches redundant and unused in our bags. The moon and the stars above, their reflections in the sea below, the music of the pounding waves, the salty wind in my face, the fragrance of woodsmoke all combined to form The Perfect Storm which assailed my senses and brought me close to tears as I sat on the grass at the cliff’s edge, my two best friends at my side. Surely, heaven on earth. My cup runneth over. As I sat there, a song from my Scouting days kept playing through my mind: “On the shore beyond the tropical sea You will stand to welcome me On the shore beneath this sky so blue All my dreams at last will come true…O Malaysia, land of glory Where I found my heart’s true love In the night so warm and tender With the moon and stars above…” Emerging from the sanctuary of his own thoughts, Shown turned to me and said: “I feel sorry for those worshipping within the four walls of a church tonight.” Me too. There we were, worshipping in God’s own cathedral – the eternal heavens the roof, the rustling wind and the rhythmic waves the choir. Worshipping God “…in awesome wonder, consider all the worlds Thy hands have made, I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder, Thy power throughout The Universe displayed…Then sings my soul, my Saviour God to Thee: How great Thou art, How great Thou art!” Yes, our souls sang, our spirits soared. We raised our glasses (of coffee – alas, we forgot the wine!) high and toasted, one from each of us: “To God!”, “To Friendship!”, “To Us – long may we love!” We talked, we laughed, we argued, or just sat silent when we ran out of words, long into the night. Of God. Of life, and death, and love. Of good old days and bad new ones. Then we slept, I beside the fire, lulled by the crackling of the embers and the flames in the wind.

Tembila. Bukit Dendong is the grassy hillock on the far right.

View of Tembila beach from top of Bukit Dendong

View of Tembila beach looking down from cliff’s edge

Shown and I at the top of Bukit Dendong, Tembila

My best pals, Shown and Kheng

16^th Lunar moon at Tembila, Christmas 2007

“On the shore beyond the tropical sea

You will stand to welcome me…

On the shore beneath this sky so blue

All my dreams at last will come true…”

“O Malaysia, Land of Glory

Where I found my heart’s true love

In the night so warm and tender

With the moon and stars above…”

Shown has also written an account of our Christmas together, penned in his own inimitable style:

A Page in My Diary 30.12.07

WE went camping on the grassy hillock on Tembila called Bukit Dendong on Christmas Day. Just Kheng, Simon and I. It was like the old days when the three of us camped on Takun’s summit; only now we are much older, less energetic and more subdued. Despite this we were still excited over it. Why would anyone want to camp out on an exposed hilltop in the midst of the raging monsoon? - Unless that someone be me of course! Every year I do it and bring reluctant friends and relatives along – they who find themselves terrified, smitten with unbelief, only to end up as firm believers that the monsoon is a time of great beauty, joy and celebration – a celebration of the power, wonder and beneficence of nature; a celebration of wind, water, life.

Tembila is slowly dying, as it appears all pristine areas must, in the inexorable advancing onslaught of development. Half of nearby Bukit Bubus has been carved out for a reservoir and its supporting elements and a brand new redundant white elephant of a university is extending its sprawl over the remaining acres of Gelam, Randa and Bris forests. So we go to celebrate and grieve over Tembila; we went to celebrate our friendship and grieve at our own impending mortality.

I went prepared for the uneven stony windswept ground on the summit; for the unrelenting rain and wind, prepared only to retreat under the onset of lightning. But rain there was none! Neither lightning but clouds, clear skies, stars and a benign luminous full moon that brought a soft light to our faces, tinseled the sea and cast Tembila in a soft white glowing light.

We carried up the deckchairs, the pail and flour bag stuffed with Pulai firewood and thus sat warmed, comfortable, cozy – gazing and talking many hours into the night and morning. We watched the sea – crashing and sighing in unison under and all around us, and watched the smoke from the campfire played about by the wind – defining its direction, strength and capriciousness. We talked a lot about Simon and his current difficulties in his life – mine is so much more settled and contented compared to his - Old friends explaining, dissecting ourselves like seers and explorers planning our future. I wonder if we will come up here again. Such a lovely place – we should – at every full moon night and bring all our other friends to come and enjoy and feel the beauty of a place such as this too.

My friends and I had seen Tembila just a few days earlier in all its full monsoon glory. We saw our own Spirit Island just holding its head above the vast expanse of water – just the way it was last year when we had camped there, almost literally on water, with the children. But all the water had disappeared by the time we camped again on Dendong. Man had drained it!! And now flotsam and debris remained for us to clean up. It was tough to do so in the hot sun and after carrying heavy camping loads but this we did. Always we give something back for something good received.