MOKEN'S DEBRIEFING JOURNAL

Every night after the day’s activities on each Moken island, we have a debriefing. Peter Shankar, the Trip Co-leader with Pastor Kay, had a wonderfully creative way of debriefing us. Every session was different – the questions were the same, the emphasis and manner were not. The first debriefing session, after our trip to Koh Rao, was held, I kid you not, soaking inside a hotsprings pool in Ranong! Sharing our feelings, thoughts and experiences of our first foray into Missions, of the Mokens people, and of each other while being half-naked, half-submerged, half-boiled in a natural steaming cauldron was surreal, to say the least! The second one was held on the island of Koh Payam where we spent the night after our work on Koh Chang earlier in the day. We were told to go to our rooms with our roommates and write a personal journal in 30 mins, after which we were to share it with him or her. The third was held back in base camp in Ranong – we were to express anything or everything about the whole trip by drawing on art-block paper with colour pencils and then showing and explaining the resultant piece of art to the whole team. What a novel way of debriefing over the three days – by speaking, by writing, by drawing.

After he read the journal I wrote for the second debriefing, Elder Koon Tatt, my roomie, asked me to share it with the church. I am not quite comfortable with that as I am an extremely private person. However, I promised him I’d share it with you guys at least. So here it is, exactly as it was written, warts and all:


24/5/08 2119 hr Koh Payam

Nostalgic dreams. Painful memories. Those were what I woke up from and woke up with this morning. Was very teary throughout the morning devotions especially during Koon Tatt’s message on Jesus’ way of restoration. I had tried to restore one who betrayed me but her answer to my “Do you love me” was a resounding no. I long for restoration from another grown tired of waiting for the dust to settle, and whose sense of insecurity literally cost too much to overcome, yet I know it won’t be forthcoming. I was overwhelmingly lonely and yet felt guilty for being that way. I would later text a friend: “I’ve learnt again it is possible and painful to be lonely in a crowd, and a caring one at that, and even when in busy activity as purposeful as this mission.” God took pity on me. A dear friend sent me an sms during the devotions but which I only read after. It made me a little less lonely and I thanked her and Him for it.

The journey to the Moken island of Koh Chang was memorable in that God again proved His goodness by providing a boat with shade for the 2 hr ride in the noonday sun. And that I was allowed to take the wheel of the boat, steering it down the river into the sea. That was truly trust at work!

Work on Koh Chang was a mad rush, as we arrived later and would have to leave earlier than we would have wished due to the vagaries of the tides over which we have no control. Yet in the buzzing hives of activity, I could see and sense teamwork close to its best, not so much in the actual physical working which could have been better, but in the heart of it where everyone did his/her best in one accord to achieve as much as possible in the little time that we had. Even when we had passed our “absolute” deadline for leaving, the oft-repeated pleas from the Registration team for “One more” patient to be seen were heartwarming and heartrending.

The boat ride from Koh Chang to Koh Payam seemed like God’s way of saying to us: “Well done. Now enjoy…” Beautiful islands on an emerald green sea, gentle rocking of the boat, the cooling wind in our hair as we stood on deck in the fading glow of the setting sun. Ah, what lovely memories were evoked – of diving trips in younger days, when hearts were still unbroken…. The words of a song I learnt during my Christian Youth Fellowship days played through my mind as I stood in the wind:

“Oh how I wish I never have to leave
And all my life such beauty to receive
Now I know that God made this world
For me… and you…”

Surely, the fool says in his heart, “There is no God.”

Debriefing in hottub

Pastor Kay's debriefing artwork